Ok! We have progress and a theory of sorts.
Put the valve cover back on and started it up. It was noisy, but not AS noisy. So... I let it run a bit while I looked for the noise. Sounded like its coming from the balance shaft area. There was a TSB I read last night that said that you can make the chain too tight on accident when messing with the head via unintentionally ratcheting the tensioner. Plausible. I also have a balance shaft delete so there are free spinning sprockets there instead. Theses sprockets had loose washers on them. The (skunkworks) guy said not to mess with the bolts holding the sprocket on, so I didn't. I did find it weird though that the sprocket had washers on either side that were allowed to move freely. I'm not sure if this is there with the stock balance shaft sprockets or not. Could also be the source of the noise. Video where you can hear it:
https://streamable.com/weipb9
Fast forward a few minutes of letting it idle, and it significantly quieted down. If we're following the balance shaft sprocket theory, maybe in the stock design they are better oiled and it took time to splash oil on them. Not sure. But regardless, its much quieter as you can see here:
https://streamable.com/8xbwxd
The only remaining problem is when I rev it... LOTS of white smoke as you can see here:
https://streamable.com/f7k820 . This, along with the old log issues where I was getting misfires and hard smokey starts, makes me think I might have a sticking injector(s). Its possible that when I cut the AN lines for the new fuel pump, I got debris in the lines and they clogged the injectors. I'm going to attempt to clean them here in a bit.
On the plus side, it idled for probably 20 minutes, got up to 185F, and just sat there. I was monitoring it the whole time and was able to follow the heat around the cooling system as it moved through it. So I
think the head gasket thing is solved. I won't be entirely sure until its under boost though of course.